If you're an introvert, you've probably heard it all:

"Just put yourself out there!" "You need to network more!" "Why don't you go to that party?"

Here's what extroverts don't understand: we want connection. We just don't want to exhaust ourselves getting it.

After years of forcing myself into uncomfortable social situations (and needing three days to recover from each one), I've finally cracked the code on making friends as an introvert.

Why Traditional Advice Doesn't Work for Introverts

Most social advice is written by and for extroverts. It assumes you:

Gain energy from crowds
Love meeting new people constantly
Thrive on small talk
Want to be the life of the party

But what if you're someone who:

Needs quiet time to recharge
Prefers deep conversations over surface-level chat
Feels drained after too much social interaction
Would rather have 3 close friends than 30 acquaintances

You need a different playbook.

The Introvert's Strategy for Connection

1. Choose Activities Over Mingling

Skip: Networking events, huge parties, bar crawls

Try instead:

Book clubs (built-in conversation topics!)
Art classes (focus on creating, not talking)
Hiking groups (side-by-side conversation is less intense)
Board game cafes (structured interaction)

The activity gives you something to focus on besides forced conversation.

2. Embrace the Power of Recurring Events

One-off events are exhausting because you're meeting all new people. Instead, find activities that happen regularly with the same group.

Weekly yoga class
Monthly volunteer shift
Regular coffee shop co-working
Seasonal sports league

Familiarity reduces social anxiety. You can build connections slowly, at your own pace.

3. Master the Early Exit

Give yourself permission to leave when your social battery hits 30%, not 0%.

Pro moves:

Drive yourself (easy escape)
Set a mental time limit before you go
Have a polite exit ready: "This was great, I need to head out"
Don't feel guilty about Irish goodbyes

Leaving while you still have energy means you'll actually want to come back.

4. Use Your Introvert Superpowers

You have advantages extroverts don't:

Deep listening - People love feeling heard
Thoughtful questions - You ask the questions that matter
One-on-one magic - You shine in smaller settings
Written communication - You can build connections through messages

Play to these strengths instead of trying to be someone you're not.

5. Find Your Fellow Introverts

Look for these signs:

They're at the edge of groups, not the center
They're petting the host's cat at parties
They suggest coffee dates over group hangs
They actually respond to deep conversation

When you find them, exchange numbers. These are your people.

The Waypoint Approach for Introverts

This is exactly why we built Waypoint with introverts in mind:

Small groups - Maximum 8 people, often less Structured activities - No awkward mingling required Clear end times - Know exactly when you can recharge Activity-focused - The thing you're doing together is the icebreaker No pressure - Leave whenever you need to

Your Action Plan

This week: Choose ONE low-key recurring activity
This month: Attend the same activity 3 times
Next month: Suggest a one-on-one hangout with someone from the group
In 3 months: You'll have 2-3 potential close friends

Remember: You don't need 100 friends. You need 3-5 people who get you.

The Bottom Line

Stop trying to make friends like an extrovert. You're not broken, antisocial, or weird. You just need a different approach—one that honors your need for depth, quiet, and authentic connection.

The world needs introverts who aren't pretending to be extroverts. Be yourself, find your people, and build connections that actually energize rather than drain you.

Ready to meet people without the exhaustion? Join Waypoint and find activities designed for people who prefer quality over quantity.